Fall From Grace Read online

  He shoved another fork full of food in his mouth and chewed. He leaned forward with a serious expression on his face, “So, what’s the deal with you? What’s with the intense Shane revulsion? I’ve never had a girl not jump at the chance with me. Or, wait, are you into chicks?”

  I laughed at his audacity. “So you think because I’m not falling for your crap that I’m a lesbian?”

  “Bi? Maybe just playing hard to get?”

  “You really are full of yourself. Brace yourself Shane, this might be hard to hear,” I teased. “But you just don’t do it for me. Sorry.”

  Shane’s eyes brightened at my words. “So, who does it for you then?” He purposefully drew out the words, making me shake my head.

  I stood up and placed my plate into the dishwasher. I leaned back, rested my elbows on the counter, and thought for a minute. “Someone who doesn’t think of me as a walking vagina.”

  He howled with laughter. “A walking vagina! Oh, shit, if only there was such a thing!” He was laughing so hard he had to wipe tears from his eyes.

  I smiled. “And what’s your deal? What happened to you making you think that women were put here just to serve you? Maybe something happened that makes you so insecure that you would be incapable of having a relationship or normal friendship with a girl?”

  His smile faded. He stared at me with those eyes. “There’s no deep dark reason, no insecurity, nothing to read into. I just don’t want anything more from someone. Ever. There is no need for it. Every girl I sleep with knows my intentions clearly. They want to fuck the lead singer of Mad World, so I give them want they want and get what I want from them. There’s no need for more. None of them are worth more than that.”

  That was so sad.

  He stood up, stretched his arms over his head, and yawned loudly. “So, what do you do? Where were you living all this time?” he asked, immediately ending his sad monologue.

  I squirmed, not meaning to. “Jobless at the moment. I’ve been living with my brother in a hospice for the last few months, so my job was just to trying to make him comfortable.”

  A sympathetic expression passed across his face. It didn’t fit his self-proclaimed moral free ideals, making me think that there was way more to Shane Maxton than a pretty faced lead singer. But, what did it matter? I had my own problems, my own past to deal with, and I was positive mine was more unbelievable than his was.

  “That’s heavy. What about your parents? Did everybody in your family just move there to be with him?”

  “Nope. My parents are both dead. It was just me and Jake.” I wanted this Spanish inquisition off me. “How about you? What’s your family like? Where are you from, what do you do?”

  “Normal family. They all live in Florida now. Nothing dysfunctional. My parents are still married, no one had dependency problems, and no one ever hit me,” he said flatly. “And being the lead singer for Mad World really pays all my bills.” He seemed curt and uncomfortable.

  I nodded. “Hmm. Sounds like you’re put together all nicely. Even though you’re standing here having a difficult time having an innocently normal conversation with someone of the opposite sex, knowing that there is no way in hell I’d ever sleep with you. No, Shane, you’re not dysfunctional in any way.” I pushed myself off the counter and walked out of the kitchen, done with the stupidity of our discussion.

  Shane knocked the kitchen chairs against each other trying to make sure he’d get the last word in, “Hold on!” he yelped.

  “Save it for someone who actually would care about what you had to say, Shane,” I called from the next room.

  I locked myself in my room, inserted my iPod into its speaker dock and melted into oblivion when the first sounds of music touched my ears. I was determined to spend this entire Sunday in bed, reliving Gabriel’s words repeatedly in my head.

  Chapter 5

  The force of the front door smashing into the wall, causing the entire apartment to shake, jarred me from my sleep. I peered over at the window, dusk was settling. The neon red numbers on my clock said it was only four in the afternoon. Ugh! I just wanted to sleep until next week!

  I listened at the door, wanting to make sure I wouldn’t be walking out into a private spat between Lea and Conner. When I heard Shane’s voice, I rolled my eyes. I laughed to myself. Well, it can’t be anything serious then.

  Still in my comfortable flannel pajamas, I walked into the living room. The whole band was there, bickering between each other, while Lea and Conner tried to make sense of what was going on. Alex the other guitarist and keyboardist of the band sat in the middle of all the commotion with both arms in casts.

  Everyone stopped and looked at me when I came in. “Are you seriously wearing teddy bear pajamas?” Alex asked me. He raised one eyebrow, “That is incredibly adorable and sexy.”

  I couldn’t help but smile and I lifted up my slippers to amuse him further. I pointed to them, “Complete with my comfy teddy bear slippers. What in the world is going on in here? Why are both your arms in casts?”

  Brayden threw his hands into the air. “This loser spent the morning in the hospital after getting his ass kicked last night!”

  I took a closer look at poor Alex’s face. His bottom lip was red and swollen, there was a cut above his left eye, and reddish-purplish bruises were forming over both his cheeks and across his nose. Ouch.

  “Holy Crap!” I yelled. “What the hell happened?”

  “Seems that one of the bimbos from last night had a boyfriend. That said boyfriend introduced himself to Alex by way of his fists and a baseball bat,” Lea said, handing out bottles of water and bowls of chips to everyone. When did she become the model hostess?

  “A baseball bat?” I asked.

  Alex’s cheeks turned redder. “Yeah. The dude jumped out on me from the closet with the bat. I threw my hands up to block it and he broke both of my arms.”

  “Please tell me the boyfriend looks worse,” I pleaded.

  Ethan’s deep laugh echoed throughout the room. He really was the biggest guy I had ever seen here, maybe 6’ 7” and his voice matched. His pin straight long hair was so blond it was almost white. He reminded me of the guys in those hair bands from the 90s. “I think maybe Alex hit him with some splatters of blood, but that’s about it!”

  Everyone laughed, even Alex. Well, no, not everyone. Not Shane. Shane stood leaning against the front door with his arms and legs crossed. He had an angry expression on his face. “Yeah, well, that’s all really funny, but who is going to play rhythm guitar this weekend, or next? Or, how about the week after that? Who the hell are we going to find who can play as good as Alex, and play his keyboard, sing, and learn all the fucking songs before Friday night?”

  Once again, Shane’s voice silenced a room. This time, it wasn’t with the sounds of his singing, but with the anger, he had for a friend. Jackass!

  Lea gave me a sideways glance.

  I grimaced at her, warning her to keep me out of the situation.

  Conner motioned for Shane to calm down. Impressively, he took control of the whole situation. “Listen, it’s only Sunday. We have until Friday night. You know that there are shit loads of guitar players in New York City that have your CDs, knowing your music by heart. Let’s ask around, make some flyers and have a small audition on, let’s say, Thursday. You guys can pick the best player. You definitely won’t find anyone who can play the piano and the guitar like Alex, but just don’t do the songs that call for both. Alex, how long do you have to have the casts on?”

  “Six weeks or so,” he answered.

  “Okay, so it’s only for a few weeks. Just think of the exposure it’ll get you with having auditions. If that’s not good for you guys, then cancel the next six weekends. Take a break,” Conner offered in all his level headedness.

  Shane grumbled in the corner like a child. The rest of the band considered what Co
nner had said.

  “We can always get Tucker to do it. It’s been a while, but I bet he remembers how to play,” Ethan said.

  I followed Lea into the kitchen when she went to get more water. “Okay, number one, why the hell are you serving them like that? Are you now studying for a career in waitressing? And number two, isn’t this like a personal band thing, why are they here talking about this? Don’t they have like an entire apartment building they live in? And number three, Tucker can play the guitar?”

  She offered me a goofy grin. “They always come to Conner for advice. He’s the smartest one in the bunch.”

  “A raisin would be the smartest one in that bunch, Lea,” I cut her off with a laugh. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to cut you off. I couldn’t pass that up, continue please.”

  “They have all known each other from high school. They were all in the high school band together in ninth grade. Conner used to play with them too. And they always end up coming here. Conner’s here a lot. It makes me crazy, if I know they are having weird band orgy parties there and Conner is with them.”

  “Lea, have they ever had weird band orgy parties where they live?” I asked.

  “No, but they might. Grace, I really like Conner and I don’t want him to lose interest in me and end up with some random...”

  “I got it. I’m not complaining that Conner is here. He’s awesome, Lea, he is. And don’t you dare volunteer me for anything to do with playing my guitar for them! I saw that face you made!”

  She made a pouty face at me. “They may be jerks sometimes, but they are really great guys, even Shane.”

  “Even Shane what?” Shane’s voice cut in.

  Lea and I jumped at the sound of his voice. Lea composed herself quicker than I did. “We were just wondering what we could do to help, that’s all? Um, how long were you standing there?”

  His face gave nothing away. “Long enough to know that we are jerks, but really great guys, even me.” He glanced at me.

  Lea chuckled, “Yep, that’s how I feel about you guys in a nutshell. So what can I do to help?”

  He tilted his head. “Do you have markers and paper, so we can make some posters and put them up in all the local bars.”

  Lea jumped to it. She flew through the apartment gathering supplies for her little art project.

  We ordered pizza and we all sat around and colored flyers for the auditions. We looked like a group of five year olds on a play date. When I mentioned that out loud, all hell broke loose.

  Alex’s face scrunched up and he shouted, “Brayden picks his nose and eats it!”

  Almost choking on a bite of pizza, Brayden shouted, “Alex has got the cooties!”

  “So we look like five years old, huh?” Ethan asked coming up behind me. He grabbed me in a gentle headlock and gave me noogies on my head.

  I screamed and ran for my water bottle, and poured it all over Ethan’s head. “Oh no,” I teased. “Ethan just wet himself!”

  Conner opened his water bottle up next and poured it all down the front of Lea’s shirt. She screamed and tackled him, and poured the contents of her water bottle down the front of his pants.

  Brayden climbed onto the coffee table and mooned everyone.

  Shane just sat, watching the antics with a mischievous grin on his face. He held a full water bottle in his hand, cap off, eyes blazing at me. Oh, crap!

  Our eyes locked and he sprang at me like a cougar on its prey. I tried to get out of the way, but I slammed into the now disabled Alex, who was chanting for Shane to get me. Thank God, his open water bottle flew out of his hands in the opposite direction of me. I bounced off Alex and landed sprawled out over Shane. I held my arms out over him, trying not to touch his body. Without a moment of hesitation, he flipped me over onto my back and while laughing, he pinned me down. Alex kicked over a closed water bottle to him and he fumbled for it. Grabbing it with his right hand, he brought it up to his mouth and tried to open it with his teeth.

  I bucked hard underneath him, but he was so solid, I couldn’t move him. He bent down, with his face hovering next to mine, and whispered, “She is a mortal danger to all men. She is beautiful without knowing it, and possesses charms that she's not even aware of. She is like a trap set by nature - a sweet perfumed rose in whose petals Cupid lurks in ambush! Anyone who has seen her smile has known perfection. She instills grace in every common thing and divinity in every careless gesture. Venus in her shell was never so lovely, and Diana in the forest never so graceful as you.” He lifted his head slightly and his eyes looked deep into mine.

  “Cyrano De Bergerac, Shane? For a self-serving man-whore, you know way too many romantic quotes,” I whispered back. How in the world would someone like Shane know a quote like that?

  I tried to move again, electricity shooting up through my body. Oh my! I grabbed the only thing I could, my slice of pizza, and smashed it in his face laughing.

  He rolled off me laughing just as hard. “Oh shit, she got me good!”

  For good measure, I threw a slice at Alex, catching him right in the middle of his forehead, where it stuck. Everyone was howling with laughter.

  That is, until Lea screamed, “Who the hell is going to get the cheese off the ceiling?”

  It took us an hour to clean up the mess that took us five minutes to make. We definitely acted like five year olds. However, we all laughed and we had a plan to help with the situation they were in. When there was no more cheese to be found on the furniture, we split into pairs to post up the pizza stained flyers.

  Shane held the stack of flyers in his hands and gave out the orders as if he was elected president. “Conner and Lea, you guys hit the Bowery Ballroom and the bars around there. Brayden and Ethan, you guys hit the Highline and wherever else you can think of on the West Side. Alex, you go home. Both your arms are broken and you look like an idiot. Grace and I will hit the East side.”

  He looked over at me and smiled, “Ready?”

  I tried to hide my horror of being stuck with him. I don’t think I did a great job. “Uh...yeah...sure.”

  He chuckled, grabbed my coat and handed it to me. “Don’t worry, I won’t try anything, unless you’ve change your mind.”

  I shot him a look.

  He put his hands up in the air as if a surrender. “Yeah, Grace I got it. You’ll never have sex with me. Right. I know. Maybe I’ll make up a few tee-shirts so there’ll be no confusion for anyone who thinks my dysfunctional ass can’t just innocently flirt.”

  I put my coat on, stuck my tongue at him and walked out the door with everyone. Could he even be capable of flirting innocently?

  Shane followed me down the steps and we walked down the block in silence until we got to the corner. “Thank you for helping.”

  I looked up to him to see his expression, but there was none. No hidden meaning. Just a thank you. “No problem. Conner and his friends are very special to Lea, and I’d do anything for her.” I looked ahead again. “Besides, it’s just handing out a few flyers. I’m not playing a guitar for him, just helping you guys find someone who can.”

  “Yeah, that would be a hoot. Watching those delicate little hands of yours playing Alex’s heavy riffs, now that would be hysterical to see.”

  I glanced up at him, but made no attempt to tell him I could play. I walked right over my pride and kept my mouth shut.

  Taking Alex’s place would cause people to ask questions about my past, and I just needed to move forward to find what I was looking for. Lea’s friends were nice enough, but not worth me baring my soul in front of everyone.

  We walked through the East side, hitting all the bars that held live bands. He regaled me with stories of all the guys when they were in high school, but never talked about himself. Before I knew it, we were sitting in a quiet corner in Boozer’s, sipping beers and snacking on cheese fries with Alex who never went home, just straight to
the bar. The waitress had given him a straw for his beer, so he wouldn’t hurt himself any further. Not long after we arrived, Conner and Lea showed up. Brayden and Ethan strolled in last, followed by Tucker, who was feverishly trying to explain to the both of them that he couldn’t play guitar for them on Friday, because he had a date with the hottest girl of his dreams. When he saw me, his cheeks turned deep red. He obviously hadn’t known I would be there to hear that.

  “Hey, Tucker,” I nodded.

  Tucker’s eyes brightened when I said hello. He smiled broadly. “Hey, Grace.” He moved through everyone, pushed Shane’s chair over, with him still sitting on it and pulled up a chair next me. “Hey, Shane, you don’t mind right?”

  Shane shrugged Tucker off, but for a fleeting second, I saw a tightness settle around his ice blue eyes.

  Tucker’s expression was full of elation at the sight of me. A brief thought flew through my mind. Could Tucker be the one I was looking for? Maybe I needed to give him a chance; maybe I had missed something?

  “Wow, Tucker. What are you, like 12?” Alex teased.

  Tucker smiled bashfully at me. “Dude, I just want to sit next to the prettiest girl in the bar, that’s all.”

  I smiled up at him. He couldn’t be the one I was looking for, could he? Give him a chance. Give him a chance.

  Alex laughed at him. “Tuck, you think she looks pretty now? God, you should have seen her in her little pink teddy bear pajamas before. It made me start thinking of very indecent things,” Alex whistled and gave me a wink.

  Tucker looked down at me and raised one eyebrow. “Hmmm. Damn, I miss all the good stuff.”

  “Oh yeah,” Alex continued. “She looked all sweet and innocent. I just wanted to corrupt her.”

  Lea softly chuckled, watching Alex flirt with me. “Corrupt her? What were you thinking of doing? Show her the smallest penis in the world? Make her dislike men forever?”

  Shane choked on his beer laughing. “Yeah, dude. One night with you and she’ll run screaming to a convent.”

  Alex laughed along with Shane, “Ahh. You’re probably right. But, sorry Grace, watching you in those little pink pajamas, put pictures in my mind of how freaky I’d get with you.”